the transformation of love

You often ask me if it was worth the trouble, if it was worth the time, if it was worth the pain, to know love for what love is and then be deprived of it.  And why is this deprivation so painful.

I too was puzzled, I really was, and I wouldn’t be able to answer this question the same way I am not able to answer who suffers more. The blind who has never seen and is not aware of what seeing means or the one who had sight for some part of his life and then lost his sight? And who is in more pain? Someone who is not sure of the existence of paradise or the one who is sure of it, as he lived there for a while, and shortly after he was thrown out?

Ι could tell you, it would have been best if you never knew love, you never had seen the light, you never had entered paradise. But, I won’t.  Instead, I will ask only of this. If you haven’t had met him, him who loved you more than anyone else in this world, who would you be today? Would you be still you, or someone else?

If you asked him the same question, he would reply that you would still be you, you were you before him, you will be you after him. For, in his eyes you were always flawless, perfect, but in what other way would love’s eyes see you? But, I know better. We both know very well that you became yourself after him, or to be more accurate, after you were loved by him.  Because he took every doubt from your head and threw it away, he transformed his love in a ladder that rose you in a pedestal and showed you your place in the world and in life and told you «that is where you belong». Up there! High ! Remember? And if at times you forget and doubt crawls inside you, take a trip to your past and remember. Because once you remember how it feels to have been loved, nothing and no one touches you.

And if today you walk down the street proudly and with your head high, it is neither arrogance or conceit, it is the simple manifestation that someone out there, at one point, loved “you” and this love raises your stature, this love strengthens your legs, this love is the reason you always look ahead.

You often ask me if it was worth the trouble, if it was worth the time, if it was worth the pain. At some point, when your eyes have cleared for tears, when your spirit had cleared for the pain of human existence, you will too be able to acknowledge what I am seeing.  That love is worth the trouble, love is worth the time, love is worth the pain. Through time and pain we are transformed by love, remembering, love never departs, love remains.

Marina saveriadou my diaries